Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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