Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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