Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This house was built for laser tag.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Still dying that you shit outside
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Floor bacon is actually really good
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
