So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
