I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
