My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
