I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
