Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love black thongs
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
