would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
