My hair reeks of homosexuality.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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