Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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