its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
