so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
