I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
