I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
