Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
