I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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