i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Randomize
