it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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