they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
