If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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