omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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