Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
