Who did Billy Mays play for?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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