I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
