And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My ass is underappreciated
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
