i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
