New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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