no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need a burrito and a hug.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
