I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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