I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
