he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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