It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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