what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
