2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
