I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
