So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
