Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
