He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
