Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
