I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
