im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
