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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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