I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
