Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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