It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
