shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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