I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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