But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
