one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were trust falling into bushes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
