And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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