Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
