at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She is in my trunk
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
