I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
