yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
