Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
