none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
